So, since I ranted yesterday, here is something funny today I got from another group Im on:

Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies:

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
1 tsp lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Sample the Cuervo to check quality.
Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour
one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one
teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still
OK, try another cup just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of
dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit off floor...

Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry loose with a
drewscriver.
Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo.
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over - Don't forget to beat off the
turner.

Finally, throw the bowl out, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the
dishwasher.

CHERRY MISTMAS!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !!!

Okay, Ill do this one too........

1. Name and middle name? Middle name is Rae


2. What holiday is your birthday closest to? Samhain/Halloween


3. Favorite flavored Pie? Do I have to pick just one? Blueberry, Pecan, Lemon, and Banana Cream


4. What names they will call you and they don't???? I hope no one calls me names


5. Are you allergic to anything? No, used to be allergic to bee stings when younger

 

6. Is there something special you want for Christmas? A working sewing machine


7. When was the last time you went swimming? Summer before last


8. Do you like cheesecake? Oh Gods Yes!


9. How many of the U.S. states have you lived in? 3


10. Have you traveled outside the country? No, except in my mind


11. Do you keep a planner or calendar with daily events? Sort of, but still not that organized


12. Does anyone like you? Yes, I sure hope so


13. Do you have any strange pets? No, just a little evil black kitty at the moment


14. What is your dream car? 65 Mustang, ragtop, purple or cherry red


15. What did you do today? Ive been glued to the computer actually


16. Are you bipolar? No, Yes, No, Yes, No


17. What is the main ring tone on your cell? I have a landline, it goes ring, ring


18. Where would you want to go on a first date? Are you asking me out?


19. When is the last time you were hugged? Last night after fighting with hubbie


20. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally? I wish, unless you count Happy Birthday


21. How important is romance? Important enough that I wish I had some more of it


22. Have you ever bungee jumped? No, Id rather skydive


23. Have you ever been white water rafting? No, Im the one pointing and laughing from shore


24. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you? Yes


25. Are you a cavity free kid? Yes...ow


26. Are you an extreme racist? No way!


27. What song are you listening to right now? Im watching My Name Is Earl


28. What is your favorite song at the moment? I like the new version of Immigrant Song by Ann Wilson


29. What was the last movie you watched? Mr Magoriums Wonder Emporium


30. Where was the last house you went besides your house? My Inlaws unfortunately, and then I was stuck there


31. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else's property? No

32. Have you ever been punched? Yeah when I was a kid, some other kids punched me in the gut and knocked the wind outta me


33. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Smile


34. Can you open a beer bottle with a body part other than your hand? Yeah, someone else's hand or body part?


35. What do you usually order from Olive Garden? Fettucine Alfredo, are you paying?

36. Say something totally random about yourself. I once applied for a job as the mall Easter Bunny , didnt get it


37. Do you have an mp3 player? I play my music on the computer mostly, and Im old school with a turntable and vinyl


38. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? Yeah, but I dont


39. Do you have freckles? No, I think my husband got my share


40. Are you comfortable with your height? Yeah, until I hit my head on something


41. Do you love someone? Oh yes, I love most everyone


42. How tall are you? 6 foot


43. Do you speak any other language other than English? A bit of Spanish, a bit of Sign Language


44. How do you like your steak cooked? Well done


45. Has anyone you were really close to passed away? Yes


46. Do you watch MTV? No, used to when they still played videos way back in the day


47. What is something that really annoys you? People who dont keep their word


48. Have you talked with your parents about the birds and the bees? No birds or bees, but we discussed Sex openly


49. What is the best thing in your refrigerator right now? My fridge is vey empty and lonely


50. When is the last time you had professional pictures taken? A loooooooonnngg time ago

51. Do you have a crush on someone? Kinda, but dont tell


52. Does that person like you back? With my luck, just as a friend


53. Do you drive when you go on long trips? No


54. What's the latest you have ever stayed out? What am I teenager or something, as long as I want!


55. Have you ever thought that you were honestly going to die? Yes, whenever my bro inlaw drives


56. Were you ever rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? Yes, they charge alot for the ride too


57. Have you broken a bone or had stitches? Broken bone-no, Stitches-yes


58. Anyone on your mind right now? Me, its all Me


59. What color is your hair? Kinda blondish


60. What did you do last night? Slept and Dreamt